Yes, Gandhi and that is the most difficult thing in the world!!
Meet me, an expert who is human and struggles with this whole harmony thing.
And if you know me, you know I’m always working towards my inner Gandhi. Everything this man said makes total sense, right? But when sh*t goes down, my harmony can sound quite dissonant. Awful in fact.
Recently I used this quote when speaking to a client about a recent, devastating turn her life had taken. It was a difficult session and man, did I understand her plight (more than she knew). But I said to her…
I let there be silence as she cried. I wanted to apologize for this statement at first but then I realized that happiness also doesn’t come from avoiding when our fantasy crashes.
Truly happy people know how to cope when the fantasy crashes – they can find a new perspective, take new actions with compassion to keep going. But for most of us this is something we must learn to do – it’s by no means instinctual and that’s ok.
So yes, Gandhi, happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony, because you know how to do that.
So how can you get started on the doing part? Here’s one suggestion…
As I learned to understand myself and others more, I now recover more quickly from disappointments and happiness finds me again, in time. And after the shocking news you read last week, there were actions that made me happier:
- Compassion for my situation instead of blaming myself.
- Surround myself with friends who understand me.
- Sharing my story with someone.
- Telling people how to handle me. People are not mind readers and will often do what they would need and not know what you need.
- Exercise. I mean it’s like sex. Never ever do I say, “Wow I feel worse. Why did I do that?”
- Drink more water than wine. Alcohol is a depressant, just sayin …
- I bought a facial mask. Sounds nuts, but sometimes new skin changes your life for a minute.
Roger that, Dalai Lama! I may have received shocking news from a doctor but I can still take actions that are loving while I feel like a piece of crap and maybe, just maybe, I will find another path to happiness, eventually.
We will see, and you will know as I go…