What Chardonnay Taught Me

2016_2_26blog3

I wrote this story for Huff Post never knowing what would be around the corner 6 months later…

With such love and compassion for my incredible mom, I hope this story inspires people to rise strong.

You can change your family legacy. But first, you must share your story.

Turn your wounds to wisdom.

Click here to read what Chardonnay taught me and my family.

What Chardonnay Taught Me

2016_2_26blog3

I wrote this story for Huff Post never knowing what would be around the corner 6 months later…

With such love and compassion for my incredible mom, I hope this story inspires people to rise strong.

You can change your family legacy. But first, you must share your story.

Turn your wounds to wisdom.

Click here to read what Chardonnay taught me and my family.

How to Be Lucky All the Time

Everything you’re going through prepares you for what’s to come.

Oh man, did this statement piss me off.

But then I realized – ya know what? If it all just grows you, then it’s all for the good.

Honestly, the fight in me got tired. And this fight was my negativity, fear, pessimism, and belief that life would never get better – only worse because I was too strong. I used to believe the stronger you were, the shittier your life would be. My negativity was how I coped until I realized the truth – I actually had two choices:

  1. Live like it’s always the worst day ever.  Let me be straight up – I lived like this for years; surviving at the bottom so I couldn’t possibly fall further, rarely taking risks and wondering why I didn’t have what I desired. I do not recommend this way of coping – it’s how we create our own limitation. Pessimism + Rarely Risking = No Bueno.
  2. Live like it’s the best day ever – trusting that the bad grows the good. Alright I know that sounds rainbows and unicorns, but the truth is, life isn’t easier per se. In fact, I am currently facing some of the hardest times in my life but somehow I feel pretty darn fabulous because the difficulty prepares me for what’s to come. I may not be able to solve every problem but I can think about my attitude to see how I am contributing to the problem.

It’s not your luck, it’s your perspective that creates the change

Listen, I am not an expert I am human and flawed and that has what’s made me better at life. So this week, I ask you what happens if you get better at life with grace + grit? What becomes possible? Email me or leave a comment below. Share it and then go out and make it happen.

Compassion? Sure. But How?

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

How true, right?

But man did I work hard at being hard on myself.

The old Di Ana used criticism as a motivator in two ways:

  1. I was hard on myself in my head: You are so fat, Di Ana. You are a slacker, Di Ana. That was not your best work, Di Ana. You are too old, Di Ana. You are too short, Di Ana. You are a waste, Di Ana. An awful, harsh way to live – just saying.
  2. I, hand to god, thought the world was criticizing me – that they must be saying things like: She is not talented enough to make it. She is not a good enough writer to publish. She really would be so much prettier if she lost a little weight. She is not so smart. She is a joke. It’s an exhausting way to live – don’t you think?

And I worked that program of criticism + projection for ((years)) and stayed in Stuckville.

The truth? Criticism was how I coped and copped out of doing anything courageous or kind for myself. But then I got on this path and it freakin’ changed my life…

The compassion path allows for growth.

 

And at 36 years old, I finally stopped trash talking in order to motivate myself and realized my perceptions of what people thought were so damn W-R-O-N-G.

COMPASSION MOTIVATES MORE than criticism.

Compassion is what allows you to give yourself another chance – not criticism. You only get another chance if you give yourself one.

But after you gain more compassion for yourself and others is that all you have to do?

Nope, there is one more crucial step after compassion – Courageous Action.

Courageous action makes things happen.

Not sitting on the couch, compassionately eating Bon Bons. I honestly wish they taught this in schools because when you learn how to be compassionate with yourself, you have the chance to change your life.

Compassion + Courageous Action is how you make the change and that is so DiStyle.

So what is your compassionate, courageous action this week? Email me or leave a comment below.

4th Grade Struggles + Rebirths

Your struggles should matter most. 

The year is 1983 – my 9th birthday. I close my eyes to make a wish over my homemade cake complete with a real charm necklace to decorate the top (bless my heart for my specific visions and Mom’s ability to create it).

And there I am, in 4th grade, wishing with all my might for my problems to go away.

Perhaps I was a dark realist as a child (I was – there’s really no perhaps about it).  From my earliest childhood memory deleting problems + the boy I was crushing on to love me back were always wished for – on candles, those flowers you blow on, and when the clock was 11:11.

And now, so many years later, here’s what I know to be true:

You cannot wish problems away or fix others people’s problems and think yours will disappear.

Your problems matter.

Now this doesn’t mean I get out of bed saying, “Yeah, I love my problems!” I, like all of you, would ((love)) something to give but in the meantime I need to cope, head on. And this coping has brought on a rebirth of sorts.

A DiStyle Rebirth: the awareness of what is already in you. The feeling that it’s finally possible + taking action to make it so.

It’s like Dorothy’s damn red ruby shoes – it was with her the whole time, she just had no clue. She had to take the risk, click the shoes, and ask for what she needed. 

Wish + DO something.

Old Di Ana would often not birth much but rather analyze/justify her struggles and completely disconnect from the ability to be loved, fix things and let go. What?! That sucks.

Don’t be the old Di.  

No wallowing or feeling so down on your luck. It’s not the sexiest look – I gotta be honest. It keeps us disconnected. And wishing for new problems and not doing something different keeps everything the same.

This past June (my first birthday without Mom), I decided to make a conscious birthday wish (like I wrote it in advance kind of thing) and I am telling you because it came true. My wish…

To be able to have the strength to deal with my current problems head + never give up, take NEW action. (feel free to steal this wish – it’s pretty good).

Wish for strength but take the action. 

You see everyone has struggles. It’s all about choosing to accept yours and work compassionately to understand yourself while taking specific courageous action. And that is how wishes come true.

So this week, think about: What do you wish could be different? What’s one thing you will do differently to make it so?

When you answer these questions for yourself, and welcome to the path to granting you own wish. I live this path. In fact, let me know what you will be doing this week. Email me or leave a comment below. I’m all about courageous action.

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